Three Simple Words That Breathe Life into Marriage


29 YEARS TODAY. 29 YEARS. 29.


It's our wedding anniversary and truth be told, this season of our marriage has been down-right hard. The stress of a recent move, a job loss, the pandemic, and half-empty-nesting is taking its toll.


Bottom line: we are somewhat depleted and, imagine this, taking it out on each other. #noknowingchuckleallowed #okaychuckleallyouwant


This morning, even in the middle of the rough, we looked into each other's eyes and asked the questions, "Would you do it all over again? Would you still choose me?"


The answer from both of us was "YES!" Emphatically.


Here is why.


Several years ago, during another difficult stretch in our marriage, my husband spoke these THREE GENTLE WORDS to me. They have echoed over and over in the past few months during the breakdowns and the "I'm sorrys," the bickering and the ensuing make-up hugs.


"WE'RE STILL LEARNING."


The wisest of words. When we let them soak in, our hearts and bodies collectively sigh together, giving room once again for the beauty found in them, in ourselves and in each other.


These three simplest of words:


*allow grace to cascade over us like a waterfall in the middle of a marriage drought

*bring mercy to the unhealed selves that keep banging into each other

*remind shame (in no uncertain terms) to “GET OUT of our house and our lives and our marriage!”

*spark forgiveness as we stop demonizing and begin humanizing each other

*usher discovery, newness and life into what seems unchanging, decrepit and even dead

*grant bravery to our fearful parts, allowing for a life-long journey of change, growth and healing

*energize our hearts to experience freedom from the past and anticipation for the future

*breathe desperately-needed and longed for HOPE to the deepest parts of these two souls and bodies, uniting us again and again in ways previously unknown


I need them today. And every day.

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