Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes (Help!)

  1. Embrace change itself.  Shauna Niequist reminds me, "If you dig in and fight the change you're facing, it will indeed smash you to bits."  Think of the example of a wave.  If you stand in the sand with knees locked as a wave comes in, you will be knocked over, tumbled through the rough sand and probably get pretty banged up.  But if you entrust yourself to the water just a little further out, you will be gently carried above those seemingly scary waves.  My hope is to embrace change.  Wait for the next step.  Stop "locking my knees" and bracing for impact.  Choose the long-view of my story.  "Ride the waves."  I find it much easier to live there.

  2. Embrace BOTH the darkness and the light.  I don't want to lose touch with the heart of the story, the part where life comes from death (but not skip over the death part).  I spent many years just trying to “go up and to the right” and avoid all the bad stuff.  This past year, I have plunged headlong into grief, murder, anxiety, all the more shadowy sides of life.  I am going deep there.  People are really hurting.  It’s hard.  But there is always a glimmer of hope.  It’s not all bad.  Redemption comes.  Again, I don't want to skip the death part, the darkness part.  I want to sit still where it's not okay NOW (where darkness reigns) but still have hope it WILL be okay in the future (where the light shines brightly).  This is huge for me.  It's been such a tremendous gift.

  3. Embrace uncertainty.  Making peace with uncertainty is the hardest of all for me.  I have learned that certainty is not part of life.  The more I demand it, the more it eludes me.  Much of my life is driven by this force of demanding certainty.  "If this, then this."  Formulas.  They just don't work.  Because I bring my kids to church and read them stories from the Bible doesn't mean they will embrace the deep love of God for them.  Because I exercise and eat right doesn't mean I won't get cancer.  Because I do all the right things (whatever that even means), doesn't mean bad things won't happen.  Certainty.  The insatiable hunger for it that I believed was my friend is actually my enemy.  Desire for certainty enslaves me.  Making peace with uncertainty frees me. In the end of the day, change is one of God's greatest gifts and most useful tools.  Change is one of the things that redeems me, brings me into greater freedom.  As Shauna reminds me once again, "It's not a function of life's cruelty but of God's graciousness."  God longs for me to have freedom from all that would hold me captive.  This hope of freedom helps me to embrace change the way I truly long to (even just a little bit at a time). I don't fear change the way I used to.  I'm up for the next round (and to be honest, a little fear crept in as I wrote that).  When I do think of all those changes I mentioned above, I get excited.  I have less constrictions on my time and energy.  God keeps bringing those who need me and who I need.  We are going deep together.  This blog is opening those doors.  I love and long for relationship.  I love and long for wholeness and healing.  I love and long for impact.  That core of who I am actually has not changed even though the world around me has and will continue to.  I am preserved through all of it.  The outside, external world does not have control over my truest self.  I am not without hope.  Change is NOT the villain and I am NOT the victim.  Uncertainty is NOT the culprit and I am NOT the casualty.   I am not losing myself, but marching forward on this journey of finding myself with the gracious, kind and loving help of God and others.  It’s really worth it. (Please be sure to check out other posts I have shared by clicking HERE!! There's a lot of good stuff on the site!!)

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