Bathroom Moonbeams at 4 am

Updated: Aug 28


A strange thing happened at 4 am this morning when I got up to pee.

Instead of half-dizzily bumbling my way to the bathroom, I found myself bathed in a moonbeam coming through our skylight as I sat down on the very warm (it’s a hot August night), off-white oval-shaped throne (where did that term come from anyway?).

It actually woke me up out of my sleepy stupor.

And not in the anxious, why-am-I-awake-right-now-I’ll-never-be-able-to-go-back-to-sleep usual way.

It was more like “whoa, this is a holy space and wow, I’m filled with some kind of unusual peace.”

I sat there for some time, basking in this odd early-morning-hour feeling, grateful.

I wanted to capture all of it for safe-keeping, tuck it into my memory bank to pull out at a later date, especially for the nights to come when I will find myself back in that same place, oftentimes having woken from a nightmare or hormonal sweat or the bodily urge that comes from being a little bit older.

It gets stranger.

As I made my way back to bed, laying down once again in the coolish sheets thanks to air conditioning, the peaceful, easy feeling (as the Eagles sang about) stayed with me.

Instead of tossing and turning and trying to find the exact position to get me back to sleep, I laid happily awake, pondering the overwhelming sense of calm that kept enveloping my body and even my mind (now that’s a big deal).

What is this? Why is this? Can I have this forever and ever?

My mind drifted to Jesus, of all people, and how he must have felt when he burst forth from the waters of baptism and heard, “This is my son, who I love, in whom I am well-pleased.”

Because that’s how I felt.

Seen. Known. Special (after all, who else has had this happen?). Belonged to. Delighted in.

Bathed not with a just in a moonbeam, but with unconditional love, the kind that brings a usually elusive and incomprehensible sense that “all-is-well.”

God works in mysterious ways (as they say) and sometimes they are glorious.

Enchanting. Filled with hope. Just what we need.

And sometimes, they find us in strange places like bathroom moonbeams at 4 am. #estherthedollymama

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