"Why did you pack the dishwasher like that?" "You left the light on." "Go to the doctor. You've got to stop the snoring."
Nitpick. Nitpick. Nitpick.
I am definitely the queen of nitpicking. At my husband.
It's so easy for me to find all the ways he just doesn't do "it" right.
Or the way I think is right. Whatever "it" is.
It's so stinkin' easy.
It's also so stinkin' harmful.
It perpetuates shame. It silently mocks, "I'm better than you." It is a destroyer of connection.
I don't want to be the queen of this.
I just DO NOT.
I want to bring grace. I want to build up. I want to foster deep intimate connection.
I want to be an agent of healing.
So today, I will call out my husband.
I will yell for the world, and mostly myself, to hear.
"He folded all the laundry." "He walked me through a very hard conversation, bringing me much wisdom and guidance."
And guess what else?!?
Guess what else?!?
"He cut these flowers from our garden and placed them right next to my bed!!"
It is so stinkin' easy to find all the things that are wrong.
But it's so much better to see all the things that are right.
P.S. It's not just about husbands, right? It's about humans.