I have a frenemy. Her name is Anger.
SHE POPS IN OFTEN
I’m just going about my very average day and WHAM, there she is. It doesn’t take much.
A phone call from a friend who has been hurt (and unfairly, I might add). The news. (You get that right now.) A driver who cuts me off. My bathroom scale. Social media rants about the latest fight we are all having about the latest thing we all feel so strongly about that will change to something completely else in just a few days.
SHE RILES ME UP.
My brain gets all aflutter.
I feel immediately called on to protect the well-being of myself or my people.
I get the sudden urge to do whatever it takes to MAKE.IT.RIGHT.
Even if it means lashing out and back and meting out my own broken system of justice (which looks more like revenge).
I pause. Calm down. Wait. Have a long talk with her about why she is visiting.
SHE HOLDS MY “IT’S-JUST-NOT-FAIR” AND BROKEN HEART.
I yell at Anger. In my head. Out loud.
Tell her all the ways it’s awful for me, my people, the world.
She lets me do it without judgment. In fact, he welcomes it.
She grants me space to work it out and shouts back, “I hear you and you are right! It’s just not fair!”
I love her for this. I need her for this.
BUT SOMETIMES, SHE DRAGS ME DOWN A PATH THAT MAKES MY BROKEN HEART SHATTER A LITTLE BIT MORE.
I lash back and out.
I plot and scheme against the perpetrators.
Bitterness creeps slowly in and then seeps slowly out to all those around me.
In my thoughts, my words, and my actions.
My well-meaning, justice-seeking self gets lost in the hubbub. Anger’s no longer my friend. She’s my enemy.
WHEN WE ARE AT THE BEST PLACE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP, SHE LEADS ME TO A BEAUTIFUL SPACE.
I get to work.
Listening. Learning. Problem-solving. Mobilizing goodness and restoration.
I speak truth to injustice. In my head. Out loud. It’s necessary for hope.
The Tender Lover of My Soul finds me with Anger and assures me she’s visited Him too. He was good at keeping her His friend. And wants to show me how to do the same.
The space is filled with quiet waters and green pastures and the true restoration of my soul.
I have this frenemy. Her name is Anger.
She’s always welcome to come for a visit.
And hopefully, we’ll keep learning how to be ONLY the best of friends.